politics – Page 2 – Starshine Roshell

Don't Say 'Vagina'

Published on July 5, 2012

It was the “vagina” heard round the world. Michigan State Rep. Lisa Brown was on the House floor, speaking out against a bill that would restrict abortion access, when she uttered these bons mots:

“And finally, Mr. Speaker, I’m flattered that you’re all so interested in my vagina, but no means no.”

From that place of interest, a great controversy was born. Republican House leaders barred Brown, a Democrat, from speaking in the state legislature the following day for trouncing on “the decorum of the House of Representatives.” They called into question her “maturity and civility.”

And feminists — as you might imagine — blew a flipping fuse. Brown and other women lawmakers performed The Vagina Monologues on the Capitol steps before 3,000 Michiganites waving signs like “MI-gina” and “I have a vagina, a voice, and a vote.” Their point, and it’s a good one: How can you dare legislate a body part that you can’t even speak of aloud?

Dear Prop. 8 Supporters

Published on November 20, 2008

Woo hoo! You did it! You really stuck it to those romance-punchy, justice-squawking gays. It’s been two weeks since you succeeded in “protecting” the fine institute of marriage from those who would … who would … I don’t know, but I’m sure they would muck it up somehow.

So tell me, how does it feel?

Well, that’s a silly question because it feels the same as it did before, right? Your happy hetero marriage wasn’t actually affected by the vote. Really, your life is exactly the same today as if Prop. 8 had failed. It’s only those sexual deviants — the monogamous ones, the ones whose lives look just like yours except for their pelvic hardware — whose lives have changed. Some of them may even have their marriages busted up.

But it does feel good to deny people something they really want, doesn’t it? Something you were born with but they’ve had to plead for. Ha! Good times, good times.

The Heir a Parent?

Published on September 9, 2008

Here are five words I never thought I’d type: Quit picking on the Republican.

Believe me, no one reviles the GOP more than I. No one is more resentful of the way — by spitting and sneering — they’ve made filthy epithets out of once-neutral words like “liberal,” “homosexual,” and “Muslim.” No one gets queasier when the party’s politicians cozy up to corporations and brandish Old Glory’s broad stripes and bright stars in an effort to distract us from waxing fuel prices and waning civil liberties.

Excuse me while I swig some Pepto.

But ever since Senator John McCain named Sarah Palin his running mate, red and blue voters alike have been all a-chirp over the woman’s qualifications. Not her qualifications for the vice presidency, mind you, but as a mother. Which doesn’t sit well in the ol’ gut, either.

Church and State Collide on Highway

Published on June 19, 2008

This just in: Rational thought is backed up for miles along South Carolina’s roadways, where a serious traffic collision between Church and State has left our Constitution in critical condition.

And it’s left Atheists a little cross.

The state recently approved a series of government-issued license plates bearing the words “I BELIEVE” and the image of a Christian cross in front of a stained-glass window. In addition to boasting their state-sanctioned love for square dancing, wild turkeys, and Dale Earnhardt Jr., South Carolina residents can now share their devotion to Jesus Christ with anyone lucky enough to be eating their dust.

The plate was proposed by Republican state Sen. Larry Grooms “to allow people of faith to have an expression of their belief.” Apparently ichthys fish and “God is my copilot” bumper stickers just weren’t converting heathens like they used to.

I Now Pronounce You SISSY and WIFE

Published on May 17, 2007

It’s wedding season again, and that means half of every aisle-trodding couple will be struggling with the decision of whether to take on their spouse’s last name or keep their own. But according to a new trend, it might not be the half you think.

The California Assembly passed a bill last week that, if adopted by the Senate and signed by the governor, will allow newly married men to change their last names as easily as women do. A bride needs only to fill out some forms and notify her credit card companies if she wants to take her husband’s name. But a growing number of grooms — from Mike Davis-turned-Salinger in Seattle to Christopher Sclafani-turned-Rhee in Washington, D.C. — are opting to take their wives’ last names instead, either to honor the women’s heritage, preserve a family name that’s at risk of dying out, upgrade to an easier-to-spell moniker, or simply do their small part to roll back centuries of gender inequity.

Cold-Hearted or Hot-Blooded?

Published on February 15, 2007

Starshine compares nutty astronauts and icy presidential candidates, asking ‘How do we want our female leaders— passionate and unpredictable or controlled and calculated?’

Tag: politics