Starshine finds out why all kids — even the sucky ones — get trophies these days.
Writer & Columnist • Santa Barbara, CA
Writer & Columnist • Santa Barbara, CA
Sex, politics, fashion and everything else a Gen-X everygal loves to dish about.
Starshine finds out why all kids — even the sucky ones — get trophies these days.
Saving your ash: Starshine asks evacuees what they took with them when they fled the flames.
The two words that most set my family moaning are these: class project.
Woo hoo! You did it! You really stuck it to those romance-punchy, justice-squawking gays. It’s been two weeks since you succeeded in “protecting” the fine institute of marriage from those who would … who would … I don’t know, but I’m sure they would muck it up somehow.
So tell me, how does it feel?
Well, that’s a silly question because it feels the same as it did before, right? Your happy hetero marriage wasn’t actually affected by the vote. Really, your life is exactly the same today as if Prop. 8 had failed. It’s only those sexual deviants — the monogamous ones, the ones whose lives look just like yours except for their pelvic hardware — whose lives have changed. Some of them may even have their marriages busted up.
But it does feel good to deny people something they really want, doesn’t it? Something you were born with but they’ve had to plead for. Ha! Good times, good times.
PTA meetings aren’t boring when a gunman’s on the loose.
Nothing bad ever started with a skinny dip.
There are good reasons why kids shouldn’t play tackle football. Starshine offers five: Smack. Crack. Thud. Grunt. Oof.
The Slutty Mechanic? Starshine peeked at this year’s Halloween costumes. And she’s frightened.
Beanie Babies? Ha. Wii? Puh-lease. Starshine reveals the best toys EVER.
Long have men made a hobby of studying women’s wiggles. Dale Hawkins liked the way his Susie Q swaggered in the ’50s. In the midst of his 1979 hit “Here Comes My Girl,” Tom Petty erupted in a growly “Watch her walk!” Jane Fonda’s girlish gait inspired Bob Seger to pen the roadhouse grinder “Her Strut”: “They do respect her, but … they love to watch her strut.” (Or perhaps it’s: “They do respect her butt. They love to watch her strut.” Either way, really.)
Now researchers in Europe have turned men’s perambulation-peeping pastime from an art into a science. A recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine showed that just by watching a woman walk, experts could predict her ability to have vaginal orgasms (as opposed to clitoral orgasms, which sticklers consider to be cheating but which, for the record, most women still prefer over a dozen roses).
Researchers at the University of the West of Scotland had a sampling of young women answer questions about their sexual history. Then they videotaped the ladies walking through a public place and asked a couple of “trained sexologists” to watch the tape and guess which ones were prone to vaginal orgasms. Let’s pause here while our male readers kick themselves for going into the wrong line of work.