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Month: August 2019

The Bullet-Proof Backpack

It’s the Tactical Assault Accessory All the Cool Kids Are Wearing

Aaaaand that was “Pumped Up Kicks” by Foster the People, followed by the classic Boomtown Rats ballad “I Don’t Like Mondays.” We’re just two songs into our Calamity-on-Campus 3 o’clock joyride here on K-I-D-Z FM, where the fear — haha! I mean the fun! — never ever stops. We’ll be back, faster than a bullet, with Pearl Jam and “Jeremy” right after a word from our sponsor. Don’t touch that dial! …

[Fade in ad spot.]

“Parents, remember back in your day, when all you needed for a successful start to the school year were some sharpened No. 2 pencils, a bitchin’ Trapper Keeper, and a brown paper bag that you could origami into sweet textbook covers?

“Well, those days are over, my friends.

Pink Tax Got You Blue?

For Many Products, Women Pay More than Men

What could I do with $64, 843?

I could buy an all-wheel-drive Performance Model 3 Tesla — it’s the cheap kind, but still. I could sponsor 133 kids at the border for a year through Save the Children. I could get a massage at a fancy spa every week for nearly a decade, or have PoopSenders.com mail 1,666 gallons of steaming elephant excrement to the White House — any of which would give me nearly pornographic pleasure. 

I’m told $64,843 is about what I’ve handed over so far in my lifetime to the Pink Tax — the upcharge added onto goods and services that are marketed specifically to women. From toys to clothing to grooming products, a 2015 study by the New York City Department of Consumer Affairs showed that women pay 7 percent more than men do for similar items.  

For example, many hair salons charge more for “women’s haircuts” than for men’s — even when the woman’s hair is short or the man’s is long. Women’s jeans cost an average of 10 percent more than men’s, and personal-care products, from shampoo and deodorant to razors and shaving cream, cost a whopping 13 percent more! And if we weren’t already bleeding money, there’s the “tampon tax,” the (ahem) padded fee we pay in 39 states, including California, where feminine hygiene products are taxed as luxuries rather than necessities.

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