Starshine Roshell – Page 50 – Writer & Columnist • Santa Barbara, CA

Everything I Know About Men I Learned at Strip Clubs

Published on June 28, 2007

While in Portland, Oregon, for a journalism conference last week, I boarded a rumbly old school bus for a tour of the city’s all-nude strip clubs. The bus was crowded, as good journalists never miss the chance to peek into a furtive subculture or, it turns out, to look at boobies.

Visiting five burlesque clubs in one night was a whirlwind education, but even more fascinating than the stage acts was the clientele. While men in buttoned-down shirts and loafers fixated on the gyrating sirens before them, I watched the watchers. Because when you strip away the pretense of dating and the art of romance, you get a little titillating insight into the male mating psyche — the naked truth, if you will.

My First Fisticuffs: The Good, the Bad and the Bloody

Published on June 21, 2007

After a boxing match at the Chumash Casino, featherweight Starshine Roshell takes a few jabs at this sweet science – from the good to the bad to the Ring Babes.

My Father's Gift

Published on June 14, 2007

Starshine’s Father’s Day gift: What do you get the Dad who betrays everyone?

Mancations

Published on June 7, 2007

Starshine’s husband would rather risk a concussion than spend Father’s Day with her and their mutual children. Go figure.

Who Wants to Be a Cotillionaire?

Published on May 31, 2007

Don’t mind her manners: Starshine learns that a trip around the cotillion ballroom is a lesson in balancing party punch and guarding your backside. Your fancy prancy backside.

Designer Vaginas

Published on May 24, 2007

If it weren’t for my girlfriends, I would know nothing.

Over delicate lunches and sloppy happy hours, they keep me abreast of life’s juicy tidbits; which teachers are retiring and which couples divorcing, which restaurants are closing and which movies opening.

But my gal pals caught me off guard recently when they told me about a freaky new nether-trend. I was biting into an overpriced burger downtown when one of my diva dining companions let this rip:

“Ever heard of a labe trim?”

Surely I had heard her wrong; I demanded clarification.

“Getting snipped. Down there. You know… to make it… neater.”

She could have at least waited ’til I was finished chewing.

I Now Pronounce You SISSY and WIFE

Published on May 17, 2007

It’s wedding season again, and that means half of every aisle-trodding couple will be struggling with the decision of whether to take on their spouse’s last name or keep their own. But according to a new trend, it might not be the half you think.

The California Assembly passed a bill last week that, if adopted by the Senate and signed by the governor, will allow newly married men to change their last names as easily as women do. A bride needs only to fill out some forms and notify her credit card companies if she wants to take her husband’s name. But a growing number of grooms — from Mike Davis-turned-Salinger in Seattle to Christopher Sclafani-turned-Rhee in Washington, D.C. — are opting to take their wives’ last names instead, either to honor the women’s heritage, preserve a family name that’s at risk of dying out, upgrade to an easier-to-spell moniker, or simply do their small part to roll back centuries of gender inequity.

Only Pinocchio Nose for Sure

Published on May 10, 2007

We weren’t even in the park yet when the perjury began.

Giddy with the excitement that only a day at the Magic Kingdom can conjure, my friend told Disneyland’s parking attendant that she had given him a $50 bill rather than a $20 — just to watch him squirm.

I apologized to the unfortunately dressed, overweight gentleman and told my friend that she simply couldn’t pull that crap here.

If you lie at Disneyland, I explained, you go straight to hell.

Opposites Attract

Opposites Attract

Published on May 7, 2007

Feature story on Butterbean Farms for Santa Barbara magazine.

Here's the Buzz

Published on May 3, 2007

On the same day scientists announced the mysterious disappearance of the nation’s honeybees, Starshine Roshell actually found the little buggers. They were in her garage.

Starshine Roshell Posts